Fuck

My exam period begins

I open my short answer packet

I don’t even begin to read it by the- time I see the words

“Empirical formula”

And in my head I hear the word

Fuck

I can see it  

Thick black letters in Helvetia font

With quotations around them

They sit in the pink/grey mushiness of- my brain

Smoke rising as I look for the file

Quarter 3

Unit 6 

Fuck

That was in February 

And I can’t think because 

The word Fuck

Has taken over my brain. 

these four letters

This one word

How can we let it control us

Why are we afraid of it

Why do we hate it

And love it

Why do we need it

I close the short answer packet

And move on the the multiple choice. 

June 11th

Remember when we smiled 

Because we felt it

Not for a picture 

Not for a mom

That’s worried about you

Not because she’s scared

That you’re going to do something 

To yourself 

And you smile

to tell her your okay

Not because you feel it

Like those kids 

riding their bikes

Feeling the wind 

Go through the gap

Between their two front teeth

When that was you 

And your mom didn’t worry 

And you didn’t worry.